today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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