I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
