Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
