Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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