We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
