You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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