Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
