Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
