mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
