I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
