oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
