hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
