Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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