Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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