it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You pole danced in your parka.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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