Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
