i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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