I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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