What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
