He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
