she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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