Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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