He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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