i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
