my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You made out with two different species that night
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize