Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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