tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
do nipples grow back?
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