Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Your penis caused this!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
