i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
