Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
