Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
