let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
