Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
