There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
