ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
