The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize