You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
