i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
