He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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