my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
