Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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