You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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