i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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