New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
