so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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