you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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