I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
