You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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