you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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