it hurts more in the daytime
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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