Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
