I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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