the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
