D3 body, D1 cock
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
