Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
