Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
