I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
