How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
