i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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