The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize