when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
