i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
