jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
