Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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