the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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