I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
